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Triple Negative Breast Cancer! A Triple Threat! 3 Strikes & I'm out?

Created April 3rd, 2011, filed in Stage 2 Breast Cancer

I read Migraine sufferers are less likely to get Migraines! Hey, 32 years here! Since I was Young. 2 Years ago my husband lost his Job and our insurance. Then in 2010. I get diagnosed with Triple Negative Breaqst Cancer! Try doing this with no income! No money, broken down cars, no gas money or anything! Same year my own married Daughters lost their Jobs! Can’t come to mom for help! Heck I can’t even Baby sit! I can’t rock the grand babies worlds & impress. I started my life out as a Stolen Baby. Kept by the RN in the Hospital I was born at. Found the RN dead when I was 13. Life was Horrible! So was this Cancer! When you can’t afford needful tests or meds. I never had the expensive thorough tests! I was in pure Misery. My Daughter would take me after each DR./Chemo/Surgery.. To the Chrysler dealership! I’d Dream I could have a new Dodge Challenger. When Realistically my only treat if needed was a 49 Cent ice cream Cone! Even my Chemo Port didn’t work! Life was hard! Having a DR. That could NOT do the biopsy right and so hurting me! He actually pounded the side of the bars of the table in disgust when he couldn’t get any tissue. From my Pigeon Egg sized Lump! Well I thought to myself. At least I raised my Daughters! Met my Grandchildren. My own Bio mom. I found her when I was 19 & pregnant. She was in a hospital dying from Breast cancer. I didn’t share she’d be a Grandmother. She didn’t live. Nor did she say if I had A Dad or Family! Nothing Good really happens in my Life!? Even my Surgeon Quits on me! She did my Sentinel node surgery and Chemo Port. But quit while I was on my 3rd Disabling Chemo. To run for State Senate!I had to find a new surgeon! I survived my lumpectomy in August of ‘10. Days before my precious black cat, Krammer was Killed on Friday the 13th! Then my Surgery, then my 50th Birthday! Then the Susan G. Komen walk. Team Angellinda was my Team! I was there just days later! Then shortly after that was my 30th Wedding Anniversary. Where I looked and felt like Walking Dead. All of our Dreams shattered! Not ever since we met did we have dreams come True! We met on Chrismtas Eve.1976. He was 18 & I was 16. We did our own Wedding. As young ones! So for our 30th I hoped for real rings! A honeymoon & some Celebrating! But How? Down on our Luck! Poor with many hardships! Our faulty Well, septic system that’s failing, A Furnace we haven’t turned on since ‘04! We never had ever a honeymoon, vacation or weekend Away. But we must have put on 6,000 miles to Doctors for the TN breast cancer! On our poor Daughter’s car. Mine weren’t trustworthy. I feel like such a burden. I live in Unbearable Pain! From head to Toe. I’m on No meds.! I have bad teeth and just go down the list! The Pain. The neuropathy, Chemo hot flashes, the issues to my hands & feet & knees. Dropping everything I hold Etc.. I can’t Trust my Body! The 35 days of Radiation made my areas, hard, hurting, poking feeling of stabbing pains, head to toe needle like pokes, Can’t sleep. Etc.. And when I had to go in for my radiation. To be all marked up by a black Sharpie. Like I was graffiti and my body was Worthless! My under breast area looked like a baseball hit me and was black/brown/burned! Life is Unbearable. No rainbows for me! Is this Living? I don’t know! I feel so hopeless. Nothing gets Better! I last saw my oncologist in December 2010. I feel hopeless, helpless and a failure!! I no longer look like A Angel/Barbie. Heck friends, family & all no longer recognize me! I can’t clean house, fix things. Heck I can’t Fix me! NO one comes by. And I feel unable to find the fight or strength to go on! I couldn’t get even a gas card from anyone in my community! I mean we all Jobless I have NO income. And my Husband’s unemployment can’t cover much! What can I do!? I’m too ill to fight! I wish for the Cures For us all. SO no one ever has to go through this! I wish for Care and cures. Does it ever get any Better? I can’t afford even decent food, water or the basics. And when I did make a few calls. I was turned away and got no help. Besides one Cancer place. Did send me a Check for $300.00! I felt like we hit the lottery. But we can’t even pay out taxes on our house or keep up. Like my Husband’s former co worker says, Better off Dead?! Thank you for reading and replying if you do! I know hopeless! A hopeless lost Angel!

Hi, I'm Ellen Sue O.

I know how you feel. I too, lost everything in the economic downturn. I have no insurance, lost my job and almost no income. I was told last week I have stage 4 Melanoma. The PT scan is $8k. which I do not have! I’m crying because I don’t want to feel the way you do. I don’t need the pain, or want to be a burden. I’m thinking maybe I should forget all the painful treatment you went through. Is quietly dying with dignity – and a headful of hair – better?

  • Sun Apr 3, 2011
I'm Gail H., and I'm a survivor of Stage IV Breast Cancer

I am just so sorry to hear that you are going through so much. Cancer is an incidious enemy! Ongoing cancer care can get us down in the worst way. Every time I hear of someone else going through all of this “stuff” just breaks my heart. We become so dependent on everyone else because it’s true we just can’t do it anymore. Is there anyone, a close family member or friend who you can call and just ask to be with you for a day. If you are like me you hate to call on others for help, but sometimes we just need it.

When I have been so low, I make myself call someone maybe an older one that I know is sick or feeling down and I try to be of encouragement to them. Somehow at least I can pick up a phone still even if I can’t help in any other way at the moment. Cancer just eats up every drop of funds we have. Have you tried contacting CancerCare? They have helped me with at least $l00.00 for travel money and they offer more. Every little bit helps.

I will leave you my website and hope it might have some resources on there that might help you.
Thinking of you,
Gail
www.livingbyhope.com

  • Mon Apr 4, 2011
I'm Mary Smith, and I'm a healthcare professional

Hi Linda -
As the other gals mentioned, the emotional drain from dealing with a cancer diagnosis and then complicated by the financial drain can be overwhelming, to say the least. I’m curious what resources you’ve reached out to, so that we can further pursue support for you. If you prefer, you can send me a private message with the details.
Please know Linda, that we’re here for you, and you can contact us anytime!

  • Mon Apr 4, 2011
Hi, I'm Lora

I wept when I read your message. I weep alot these days. I,too have triple negative breast cancer. My life has been similar to a series of Lifetime movies. If it weren’t for my faith & twisted sense of humor,I don’t know how I could face this. There are support groups & counseling services available @ no charge. It may sound lame, but take a nice, long walk-frequently. It can help to clear your head. I am so sorry for you & spend some time feeling sorry for myself. Then the sun rises again. Please know that I care & will begin praying for you daily.

  • Sun Nov 11, 2012